Oh my goodness, I’ve just restacked this exquisite post. It is unutterably beautiful. And it is how I grieve for my son, too.
Not as a part of me who is no longer here, but someone who reminds me they can never NOT be. And yet, at the same time, who is somehow leading me back to MYSELF. How are these two things both happening at the same time?
I want to write so much more about this but that is for my own posts. Please just know how much your words today mean to me. Not least because you write about London, the place where Dom died (and which haunted me) and where I now return to have fun, knowing that he is still with me and wants this for his mum.
As Brady does for you. Your enthusiasm, your embracing of life now, for your son, BECAUSE of your son…well, it’s such a wonderful thing to see. And something else is so very evidently intact…your sense of humour.
I see Brady chortling at your words…he knew you so well. Keep wayfinding for him too. With each new adventure, you’re giving him another YouTube-style video to watch, and I imagine he’s eager for more ❤️❤️❤️
your story is priceless. It’s beautiful sad yet life affirming. I love the way you weave Brady into each element l of travel ( your travel buddy) and how you eloquently stated that you would trade all of this to have him back. I understand that feeling completely.
I also understand that we have to go back to our previous selves before our deceased children were born —to ground ourselves and figure out who we were to understand who we can be now. It is great that you have these wonderful daughters to share the experience with. count those blessings —and I know you do.
I loved reading about your travels through your and Brady's lenses. Losing our sons physical bodies does nothing to erase them from our souls, and I get exactly what you mean by having Brady with you, travel buddies forever. Such a loving and touching post. Thank you!
I love what you say about Brady not being a shadow over everything you were experiencing, but a lens. That's a beautiful and I think very accurate way of describing it. He made you see differently, and he always will.
I always feel so connected to your writing, to the way you express your love, sadness, hope, connectedness to Brady. This trip sounded like a real healing journey for you in so many ways, on so many levels. (And of course Brady is still your travel buddy as he is not limited by the physical realm.) Thank you for sharing this very special journey.
Thanks for letting us travel to London with you. My family loves the UK and will be going back to Scotland next fall. Someday you should come out to visit us.
London restores more than memory here; it reconnects the young woman who first learned she could navigate the world, the mother whose travels were shaped by Brady’s needs and curiosity, and the grieving woman learning a changed geography. Bringing your daughters to Nutford House allowed them to meet a version of their mother formed before motherhood and loss, while Brady’s presence as a lens kept him within the family’s way of seeing. “Travel buddies forever” carries such force since the route has changed while the companionship still influences every detour, plaque, gift shop, and unexpected parade. Thank you for entrusting us with a journey where grief, freedom, motherhood, memory, and joy remain fully alive together.
Oh my goodness, I’ve just restacked this exquisite post. It is unutterably beautiful. And it is how I grieve for my son, too.
Not as a part of me who is no longer here, but someone who reminds me they can never NOT be. And yet, at the same time, who is somehow leading me back to MYSELF. How are these two things both happening at the same time?
I want to write so much more about this but that is for my own posts. Please just know how much your words today mean to me. Not least because you write about London, the place where Dom died (and which haunted me) and where I now return to have fun, knowing that he is still with me and wants this for his mum.
As Brady does for you. Your enthusiasm, your embracing of life now, for your son, BECAUSE of your son…well, it’s such a wonderful thing to see. And something else is so very evidently intact…your sense of humour.
I see Brady chortling at your words…he knew you so well. Keep wayfinding for him too. With each new adventure, you’re giving him another YouTube-style video to watch, and I imagine he’s eager for more ❤️❤️❤️
your story is priceless. It’s beautiful sad yet life affirming. I love the way you weave Brady into each element l of travel ( your travel buddy) and how you eloquently stated that you would trade all of this to have him back. I understand that feeling completely.
I also understand that we have to go back to our previous selves before our deceased children were born —to ground ourselves and figure out who we were to understand who we can be now. It is great that you have these wonderful daughters to share the experience with. count those blessings —and I know you do.
I loved reading about your travels through your and Brady's lenses. Losing our sons physical bodies does nothing to erase them from our souls, and I get exactly what you mean by having Brady with you, travel buddies forever. Such a loving and touching post. Thank you!
I love what you say about Brady not being a shadow over everything you were experiencing, but a lens. That's a beautiful and I think very accurate way of describing it. He made you see differently, and he always will.
I always feel so connected to your writing, to the way you express your love, sadness, hope, connectedness to Brady. This trip sounded like a real healing journey for you in so many ways, on so many levels. (And of course Brady is still your travel buddy as he is not limited by the physical realm.) Thank you for sharing this very special journey.
Thanks for letting us travel to London with you. My family loves the UK and will be going back to Scotland next fall. Someday you should come out to visit us.
Beautifully expressed and true
London restores more than memory here; it reconnects the young woman who first learned she could navigate the world, the mother whose travels were shaped by Brady’s needs and curiosity, and the grieving woman learning a changed geography. Bringing your daughters to Nutford House allowed them to meet a version of their mother formed before motherhood and loss, while Brady’s presence as a lens kept him within the family’s way of seeing. “Travel buddies forever” carries such force since the route has changed while the companionship still influences every detour, plaque, gift shop, and unexpected parade. Thank you for entrusting us with a journey where grief, freedom, motherhood, memory, and joy remain fully alive together.